Bubblegum-flavored apples, anyone?
To be specific, how about an apple of indeterminate type, vintage, and origin, imbued through some proprietary process with either bubblegum, pomegranate grape, or "Tropical Storm" flavor, and marketed to kids and, I suppose, parents as a healthy snack?
These come one to a bag that sports a cartoon apple bearing a blissed-out expression of preternatural joy.
So astonished was I to find this latest work of the marketing art in my supermarket that I did not ask the obvious question until hours later.
Namely, did this have anything to do with me? Was this on my beat? Did I have some obligation to myself or my readers to eat one of these?
It's true that I have occasionally strayed from the straight and narrow here at Adam's Apples, arguably pushing the envelope a little too far.
But in this case--no. Not "No, do not eat these" (that is entirely up to you), but "No, I am not going there."
It's not part of my portfolio and I say so without apology or backwards glance.