The name for this apple seems to promise a boatload o' sugar. Thankfully, Sweetie's glucose level is moderate. But you have to wonder why the marketing strategy of hyping the sweet stuff is so often the first resort for a genus of fruit that can be spicy, bracing, and wine-dark. I have a bag of Sweeties, medium to large and so elongated that it is almost a silly-putty parody of the classical conical apple. (Read further for an even thinner example.)
An amateur explores the pomaceous fruit